Today I am on the cusp of something very big. I am packing up my “stuff” and moving into my boyfriend’s house. We have been dating about 2 years. I have been in love him secretly for 27 years before that. Dating him has been like getting the Shetland pony you always longed and dreamed about for x-mas . Soon after I move in, I will leave on a business adventure.The timing is remarkable.
I have an opportunity to travel and do my solo act in Florida for “the season”. I work as a professional vocalist and entertainer. This trip will bring financial abundance into my life. This tour will stretch me creatively and emotionally. This ginger-adventure will shine the sun on my fair skin all winter. I am also starting a health coaching business at the same time! If this had happened a decade ago I can definitely say I would have said no to the trip. I would have decided that nesting with my boyfriend was more important than a business opportunity. But happily this is not me anymore. Maybe it’s my age or my life experience ? Could it be a shift in hormones? Could it be that love no longer takes the steering wheel in my life? Am I finally in the driver’s seat?
Do not misunderstand me. I love this man more than any other man I have ever loved! Believe me… that is a very long list! After many love affairs ,2 divorces and a called-off engagement. (Look at that Runaway diva-bride sprint in those stilettos!) He is my Love. The man I always wanted and finally got to be with! He is my best friend and the sexiest man on earth. There is a fire between us that could never be put out. When we die I am convinced we will be a star together. Bright energies in the sky circling around each other. He is my grounding energy and I am his spark. Without his deep steady love my energy is scattered everywhere and unsettled. Without my spark he lacks color and spice and electricity in his life. When we stir our energies together it is magical and powerful!
Perhaps writing this blog is a desperate procrastination coo? As long as I sit here and write I can avoid moving those boxes and loading up the car and starting this adventure. I am frozen in time hanging on to the last moments of my blessed single-hood. I do love my solitude! Living alone for the first time in my life has been freeing and wonderful and scary and lonely all at the same time. I am looking forward to intertwining our lives and seeing his beautiful face much more often. It calms me and lights me up at the same time. He is the first person in my life who has ever said : “Go do your thing! This is exactly what you need to be doing! As much as I don’t want you to go I know that this exactly what you should be doing!” No one has ever been there for me like that. It sets him above all others in my heart.
So thank you fear ….you have pushed me to write my first blog post! The fear of starting this love and business adventure has stuck me to this chair long enough and compelled me to peck away at this machine. My procrastination to start one thing has pushed me to start another!